


What To Fight For

by Wolfcry22



Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [14]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, M/M, Poe Dameron Has PTSD, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Protective Finn (Star Wars), Resistance, Support Group
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-23
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 04:13:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25464532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wolfcry22/pseuds/Wolfcry22
Summary: Support can come in unexpected places.
Relationships: Poe Dameron/Finn
Series: The Exhausted Mind of Poe [14]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1605424
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	1. Partner Up

**Author's Note:**

> I know it’s been a hot minute since I’ve posted for this series. I’ve been working on this story and others and wanted to make sure that it was perfect. This story has been one of my favorites to work on and means a lot to me. 
> 
> I’ve gotten a few requests to bring the support group back. I love writing about them and was excited to mention them again. I’m working on a few other parts to this series too with them. They’re so fun to write and Poe’s interactions with them just seem to flow.
> 
> Mild warning for cursing and violence. There is some implied past abuse so if you are sensitive to that I would suggest that this story may not be for you. PTSD is a running theme in Poe’s case as well as the others in the group that he comes into contact with. Everyone’s PTSD symptoms are different and this is just a few takes on it. I hope that you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. This is a story that means a great deal to me fo personal reasons and I hope that it impacts you as it did me.

“Alright, alright, gather around. We’re going to try something new this week.”

Poe reluctantly pulled himself from the conversation he was having with Jub. Morry and Naylo straightened in their seats while Jasp cleared his throat. Ri-Tun rushed to his seat after grabbing a pastry as Mhina sat down beside Morry. Dr. Firn was at the top of the circle as usual and seemed to have excitement shinning in his gaze. 

“It’s never good when he gets that excited,” whispered Jub into Poe’s ear.

If Dr. Firn heard Jub, he made no sign of it. “I think that you are all comfortable enough with each other to begin to use one another as resources. So, every week, you will be assigned one person and you will meet with them at least once a day. It can be for five minutes or for dinner. Just to check in and make sure that everything is alright with them. Then, when we meet back in a week, you will be assigned someone new. It’ll help all of you lean on each other and really learn from one another. Does that sound like a plan?” 

Poe was surprised at how excited he was for the plan. He loved spending anytime with the members of the support group. They regularly got dinner, drinks, or just hung out together. Having a one-on-one person for the week was exciting too. 

“How will we decide who has who,” questioned Morry.

Dr. Firn smiled. “I already have them written down.” He started to open his PADD to find the names. “Don’t worry; you will all have everyone eventually and then we will rotate again.” He tapped his finger on his device before reading out the names. “Jub, you will be with Ri-Tun. Jasp, you will be with Morry. Mhina will be with Poe. Naylo you will be with me this week.” 

Poe glanced over to Mhina and smiled to her. Mhina offered a timid smile back and Poe was relieved. He was eager to have Mhina and also a little nervous. Mhina was very timid, and rightfully so. That just meant that wherever her and Poe decided to meet would have to be at least semi public so that she didn’t feel uneasy. Poe didn’t mind. He would rather himself be uncomfortable than risk making Mhina uncomfortable. 

“Talk about your feelings, what you’re going through, and how you’re really doing. You can also talk about anything else as long as your partner is alright with it,” Dr. Firn continued while the pairs exchanged a few excited whispers. “I’ll let you guys go early today so that you can set maybe a time and place for your first meeting tomorrow or another time this week.”

As soon as he finished talking, the pairs started to break off. Poe pulled his chair closer to Mhina and tried to quell his enthusiasm. “You work in the records wing, right? So how about we meet tomorrow morning for breakfast,” Poe suggested.

Mhina smiled before nodding slowly. “That works for me. The mess hall is serving blue milk pancakes tomorrow.”

“That’s a reason in and of itself to go.” Poe was glad to see that Mhina was fairly relaxed. He had been scared that she wouldn’t want to go anywhere with him. Luckily, that didn’t seem to be the case. “Do you want to meet there?” He didn’t want to force Mhina to walk with him alone. 

Mhina nodded once more. “Sounds good to me.”

“Perfect! Tomorrow morning for blue milk pancakes it is.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Poe walked into his and Finn’s room itching to tell Finn about their latest breakthrough in therapy. He found that Finn was reading in bed, waiting up for Poe like he usually did. He grinned when he saw Poe approaching and it turned into a larger smile when he saw the excitement that Poe seemed to have. “Good session?” 

“It was great!” Poe quickly explained how Dr. Firn had split them up into pairs and how he and Mhina were going to meet in the morning for breakfast. “I really think this is going to go well.” 

Finn nodded enthusiastically. It was rare that Poe was this pleased after he left therapy. “That’s great, Poe! Do you think that Mhina is going to be okay meeting with you? I know that you said she’s pretty timid.”

“Yeah, she is, but I think that she’ll be alright. We’re going to be in the mess hall together as well as everyone else who is going to be eating breakfast at that time,” pointed out Poe as he set down the folder and notebook that he regularly took to the groups on his desk in the corner of the room.

Finn closed his book so that he could fully focus on Poe. “Do you want me to come? I wouldn’t talk to you two if that helps.”

Poe walked back over the bed, already pulling his shirt from over his head. He jumped onto the bad and straddled Finn’s waist as he sat almost on his stomach. “I appreciate the offer, but that would just freak Mhina out. It’s always best to have as few males around as possible.”

“Alright. Just let me know if I need to break anyone’s jaw.” Finn wasn’t naive enough to know that both Mhina and Poe were spared from the taunts of others. Poe had lost nearly all respect just because of his illness and people were constantly talking shit about him. Mhina had been through great trauma and people picked up on that and weren’t always understanding and gentle with her. The idea of having the two of them in the mess hall in the morning, which was one of the busiest times, was slightly nerve racking. So many things could go wrong and that was terrifying for Finn.

Poe laughed as he leaned forward and kissed Finn’s closed lips. Finn smiled back, arching his head upward to be able to deepen the kiss with Poe. Finn’s tongue explored the inside of Poe’s mouth, detecting the taste of stale coffee and something sweet. Poe moaned back in pleasure. 

Poe reluctnatly broke off from the kiss when he could no longer breathe. He leaned back, falling back beside Finn on the bed. “I better brush my teeth and get to bed if I want to get up early.”

“Hurry back,” Finn requested. “I could use some Poe cuddling.” 

Poe shot him a thumbs up as he walked toward the fresher. When Poe could no longer see him, Finn let the worry settle on his shoulders. Having those two alone could spell trouble. If anyone said anything to either of them, they wouldn’t stand up for themselves. Finn knew that. He just hoped that nothing went wrong.


	2. Stronger Together

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mhina didn’t seem to believe him for a second. “Come on. We need to get you to Finn. He has to know about this.”
> 
> “Do we have to,” complained Poe as he struggled to stand while using a table for support.
> 
> Mhina nodded gravely. “I’m afraid so. He’s going to ask anyway. Rumors travel around here, you know that,” she pointed out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a shorter part, but I wanted to post something. I promise that the next part will be a little longer. I hope you guys all enjoy!

Poe walked into the mess hall the next morning and found that Mhina already had a spot at a table in the corner. Poe grabbed a tray and walked through the line before walking toward her. He noticed that the mess hall was fairly busy, as it usually was at this time in the morning, but it wasn’t overwhelmingly so. Most conversations were quiet since everyone was about as tired as Poe was.

He forced enthusiasm into his voice as he sat across from Mhina. “How are you doing this morning,” he questioned as Mhina scribbled in her notebook.

She looked up to him, her gaze immediately falling back down. “Not to bad. A little tired, but I can’t complain. How are you?”

“Okay. I was up in the middle of the night, but what else is new.” The more that he went to the support group, the more honest he was with them. They knew about his constant nightmares and they didn’t hesitate to offer him reassurance when they knew that he had a rough night. He had been so nervous to tell them about his flashbacks, but once half the group admitted to having some of their own, he wasn’t as fearful to share.

Mhina nodded in understanding. “Does Finn know?”

Poe set his jaw in almost regret. “Yeah, he knew.” He had thrashed around so much that he had rolled right out of the bed. That had awoke Finn immediately and the former Stormtrooper had jumped from the bed to bring him back to reality. Poe had been reluctant to go back to sleep and that had caused Finn to stay up with him as well. He had finally fallen back to sleep a little while before the sun had come up.

He shook his head to clear it as he brought his notebook beside his tray and opened it to the list of questions that Dr. Firn had told them to ask each other. “Alright, what are you struggling with the most this week and what can I do to help with that?”

Mhina tapped the tip of her fork against her tray. “I’d say—“

“What do we have here,” broke in a voice. “Did Finn actually let the General out of his room without him?”

Poe’s blood boiled when he heard the voice behind him. He knew who was behind him even without turning to look. “What do you want, Storm?”

The pilot shrugged with his hands forced into his pockets. “Nothing, nothing. I’m just wondering if your attack dog is going to jump out at me? Is he hiding somewhere?”

Poe fought not to say anything. There was no way that he could go after Storm, especially with Stick and Wish flanking him. He slowly shook his head to keep from speaking.

“Cat got your tongue, General,” taunted Storm as he stalked closer. “Too dumb to speak?”

Poe struggled to keep his cool as he felt blood rush to his face. His teeth hurt from gritting them together as Storm drew even closer with his fingers trailing on the edge of the table as he crept even closer to Poe. Storm lifted his hand and trailed his fingers over the back of Poe’s neck. Panic started to surge through Poe and he had to close his eyes to stop his body from locking up. He could not have a panic attack or flashback with Storm being so close to him. Storm would never leave him alone if that happened.

Storm laughed menacingly as he reached down and grabbed Poe’s notebook. Poe shot out a hand and tried to grab it from Storm, but Storm pushed him down and yanked the journal up to his face. “Awe, it has the date in it and everything. Is this the one that talks all about your fucked up mind?”

Poe felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. He wrote so many personal things in that journal and that included his panic attacks and nightmares. That was what Dr. Firn told him to do for therapy and it was helping. He never thought that anyone, least of all Storm, would ever see his most personal thoughts.

“Give that back,” he exclaimed as he made a grab for Storm.

Storm drew back just in time and Poe’s foot snagged against one of the table legs. He stumbled forward and landed on his hands and knees while Storm continued to flip through the notebook. 

“You’re going to have to do better than that.” Storm suddenly took a step toward Poe and kicked his foot against Poe’s stomach.

Poe gasped in agony as he fell onto his side with his face twisted in pain. Storm stooped over him and spat in his face. Poe immediately lifted his arms over his head in an attempt to protect himself. Humiliation pulsed through him. He wanted to stand up and fight for himself and yet his limbs wouldn’t move.

“Hey!”

A sudden shout caused Poe to pull his arms from his head. It was a voice that he felt that he knew, but at the same time he wasn’t sure who could have that much power. His head turned ever so slightly as he saw Mhina rise shakily to her feet with her hands closed into fists against her thighs.

Storm sneered as he threw his gaze toward Mhina. “It speaks! Must have been hard. I always just thought you were mute.”

“Leave her alone,” Poe panted as he tried to scramble to his hands and knees once more.

Storm kicked him once again and he was knocked back aside. He didn’t try to scramble to his feet this time since he felt like he was going to vomit if he so much as sat up.

“Leave him alone,” Mhina managed to snap as she walked forward and narrowed her eyes as she tried to stand with pure confidence and strength. Her muscles almost rippled as she tried to force the fear from her posture when she faced Storm.

Storm grinned while Wish and Stick exchanged a normal glance. “Maybe you should leave her alone,” suggested Wish with troubled eyes. “She’s not a threat.”

“Not yet, but she could become one,” flashed Storm as he came over to Mhina and towered over her. 

Mhina’s mouth went dry as she struggled to look up to Storm. Poe could see the terror surging through her and he longed to be able to defend her. He knew how difficult this would be for Mhina and he never wanted to put her in this position.

“What are you going to do, freak,” questioned Storm as he looked down on her, his eyes glittering in malice.

Mhina managed to look up calmly, her breathing even. “I’m not going to do anything. You’re used to people standing up physically to you and that’s not going to happen. I know that you’re just insecure and you can’t do anything without your crew behind you. That’s fine. Not everyone here can be brave. Although, I’m sure everyone would like to know that you went to the medbay for your own issues, don’t you think?”

“Shut up,” Storm snarled savagely.

Mhina didn’t bat an eye. “You’re a coward who can’t think for himself. The way you hurt people for fun shows your true colors. Those sort of people who hurt others, who you’re supposed to respect, are the scum of the universe. You’re not even worth these words that I’m saying to you right now. You’re not worth any of our attention. You were born useless and you’re going to die useless. I can’t wait for the day when you wake up and realize that for yourself, Storm. You don’t deserve the name that you have and I know how disappointed your parents would be because of your behavior. Only you have to live with yourself and that makes sense why you will always be alone.”

Mhina’s words, while not being screamed at him, seemed to carry a weight that Poe wasn’t expecting. He could see the crack in Storm’s usually cocky demeanor. What Mhina had said struck a cord and it was nearly impossible for him to hide it.

“Watch your back, Mhina,” Storm hissed as he turned sharply with the other two pilots following.

Mhina rushed to Poe’s side while the rest of the mess hall started to murmur worryingly at the display they had just witnessed. She had a hand hovering over his shoulder, debating whether or not to touch him. “You okay? He got you pretty good.”

Poe gulped heavily as he managed to sit back onto his hip. His stomach still throbbed from the force of Storm’s kick, but at least he wasn’t going to kicked again. “I’m alright,” he wheezed.

Mhina didn’t seem to believe him for a second. “Come on. We need to get you to Finn. He has to know about this.”

“Do we have to,” complained Poe as he struggled to stand while using a table for support.

Mhina nodded gravely. “I’m afraid so. He’s going to ask anyway. Rumors travel around here, you know that,” she pointed out.

Poe’s head hung as he wrapped one arm around his lower stomach. He sighed heavily. “Alright. Let’s get this over with.”


	3. Outburst

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Recalling what happens can be painful for all parties involved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here I am with another chapter. It’s another short one and I’m so sorry for that. I just wanted to have something to post.
> 
> This part will explain a little bit more why Poe keeps so many pilots that don’t respect him. I want to show Poe struggling with numerous different people. He was a capable pilot and still can be, but his PTSD makes things difficult. There are great Resistance members and bad Resistance members just like everywhere else. It just seems that those with the loudest opinions are often heard over the gentler ones.
> 
> I hope that you all enjoy and this tides you over until the next part!

Mhina lifted her fist and knocked on the door, Poe at her side. His face was still twisted in pain and he held his notebook halfheartedly against himself. His eyes were guarded as he thought about what Finn was going to say or do. Finn was super protective of him and he would not be thrilled at what happened.

There was a shuffling from inside as the door opened. Finn stood without his shirt on, clearly in the middle of getting ready for the day. His eyes widened in surprise when he saw Mhina and Poe. “Oh, hi, Mhina. It’s nice to see you,” Finn told her softly as so not to startle her.

Mhina gave a tiny dip of her head, her gaze looking past Finn. “It’s nice to see you too. I was just dropping by to let you know that we had a bit of an altercation.”

Shock rippled through Finn as he looked past Mhina to Poe, who was still clutching at his stomach. Finn drew forward and wrapped his arm around Poe’s shoulder. “What happened,” he gasped in alarm.

Poe looked down in shame. “It was nothing. Just my own stupid fault.”

“It was not,” protested Mhina with her voice rising in surprise. “Storm attacked you, not the other way around. He had no right!”

Finn understood what was happening. He knew that Poe was trying to repair his fragile ego and it wasn’t helping things. “Would you like to come in, Mhina?”

Immediately, Mhina’s entire demeanor changed. She turned rigid just at the thought and Finn immediately regretted even suggesting it. “N-No, that’s okay,” she stammered with her gaze down as she already seemed to be shutting down. “I should probably go and get ready for work. I’ll see you tomorrow, Poe.” With that she headed back down the hallway almost timidly.

Finn slightly stomped his foot. “Damnit! I knew I was too forceful,” he grumbled. If he wouldn’t have said anything, then maybe she wouldn’t have run.

“It’s okay,” Poe muttered as he feebly headed inside. His stomach was really starting to throb thanks to the blow. “I’ll talk to her tomorrow about it. I think that she was just emotionally charged.”

Finn was still hesitant, but he knew that chasing Mhina would only make things worse. He huffed slightly as he brought Poe in and closed the door. He helped Poe over to the bed and sat him down, but he wouldn’t let him lay down. Finn then brought one of the chairs beside his desk over so that he could sit across from Poe.

“Poe, I need you to tell me exactly what happened,” Finn ordered with seriousness etched on his face. “And be honest about it. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me the truth.”

Poe tried to set his jaw in an almost charming endeavor, but Finn wasn’t buying it at all. “It wasn’t that bad,” he grunted with his stomach nearly heaving with each painful breath. “I’m sure I could’ve handled it.”

Finn leaned forward and started to pry Poe’s slightly tight shirt from his toned abs. He frowned when he saw the black and blue mark that showed on his stomach and up to his ribs. Finn brushed his hand against the purple welt that was beginning to show and Poe immediately drew backwards with a hiss of pain.

“You handled it alright,” murmured Finn darkly as he brushed his fingers over Poe’s tensed midsection. “This could’ve been much worse. You could’ve ruptured something or worse. You need to tell me exactly what happened, please.”

It took a moment, but Poe managed to nod. Trying to put up a front to Finn wasn’t helping matters. That much was clear. “Mhina and I were just talking and Storm came up to us. He took my notebook, you know the one that I write everything in there from my sessions with Dr. Firn and things from the group. He was going to read it and I tried to grab it. I fell and then Storm kicked me a few times. That’s when Mhina stood up to defend me. I’ve never seen her be so brave. We left pretty soon after that.”

Finn took everything in and he could feel his blood boiling inside of him. He tried not to let it show as he stood. “I knew that I should’ve went,” he grunted.

Poe shook his head madly. “You can’t go everywhere with me! I love you, Finn, but that will only fuel Storm if he knows that I need you to protect me. I can handle myself.”

“Clearly you can’t,” reported Finn with his eyes blazing in the light. “Look at yourself. What would’ve happened if Mhina wasn’t there? What am I saying?! Mhina standing up for you is great, but you must know how hard that must’ve been for her. She stood up to Storm. Not just anyone, but that bastard. Do you not think that it’s played with her mind at least a little?”

Poe hung his head. His aching heart was starting to overpower the aching he felt in his stomach. “I didn’t think of it that way.”

“No, of course you didn’t.” Finn lifted a hand and rubbed it against his brow. “I’m not angry at you. You didn’t do anything wrong. I’m angry about how everyone has treated you. You’re a hero and it seems that everyone had forgotten that.”

Poe longed to be able to comfort Finn. He just didn’t know what to say. “I’m not a hero,” he rasped as he pulled his shirt down over his abdomen so that Finn couldn’t see the discolored wounds. “Apparently I’m as weak as they say.”

“You are not weak.” Finn stretched out his hand and rested his curled finger under Poe’s chin. “Look at me.” Poe lifted his head slowly. “You are far from weak. You are one of the strongest people I have ever met. Storm is just a bully and I have no idea why you keep him around.”

“He’s a good pilot,” Poe replied simply.

Finn rolled his eyes. “I don’t care if he’s a good pilot. If he’s a complete asshole then he doesn’t deserve to be here. I know that everyone here is a volunteer, I know that. We can’t have someone like that here. If you won’t do it for yourself, then do it for Mhina, Jub, Jasp, Ri-Tun, or Morry! You may be strong enough to handle him, but they may not.”

Poe was quickly feeling overwhelmed. Finn had nearly been too consumed in his own anger to realize it. He watched as Poe lifted his hands over his ears and nearly whimpered. Finn swore under his breath as he quickly lifted his own hands and rested them over Poe’s. “I’m sorry. You know where I’m coming from, right?”

“I think that I should take a shower,” Poe broke out suddenly as he stumbled to his feet and away from Finn.

Finn glanced up worryingly. “Do you need some help?” Poe still seemed unsteady on his feet and Finn didn’t want him to fall and hit his head.

Poe shied away when Finn tried to come anywhere near him. “I’m fine.” His mind seemed to be taking on a terrified quality and all he could do was try not to break down in front of Finn. It wasn’t Finn’s fault, that much Poe knew, but he didn’t enjoy having to rehash it out again and think that he had needed Mhina, who was just as traumatized if not more so than him, to stand up for him. She had protected him and he had no idea what that would do to her mental sanity.

Finn regretfully watched as Poe shifted into the fresher and closed the door behind him. Finn pushed the seat that he had been sitting in harshly away while grumbling under his breath. “Damnit!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you all enjoyed this part and are staying safe and healthy!


	4. Boiling Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe’s frustrations gets the best of him and all he can see is red.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a warning for violence and language, but that’s to be expected from my writing at this point. It’s not overly long, but there are some great moments between Poe and Finn that I wanted to showcase because I’m a sucker for it now as I ever was. Angst galore, but there’s enough fluff to go around too. I hope you all enjoy this slow burn of a story and are staying safe and healthy!

Poe heard Finn swear loudly in their room as the fresher door closed. As soon as Finn could no longer see him, Poe felt himself begin to break down. He lifted his hand to his face and started to softly sob, his shoulders shaking with each excruciating breath. He brought his fist to his mouth as he softly bit around it in frustration as he tried to muffle his cries.

He managed to partly straighten as he pulled his shirt over his head painfully. He looked at himself in the mirror and that was where he could see his ever scar and every burn that littered his chest and abdomen from numerous fights and captures. The wounds from earlier seemed to be illuminated by the iridescent light in the fresher. Anger welled inside of Poe upon seeing himself like that and he suddenly shot out a fist and collided it with the mirror.

It shattered in front of him, leaving shards in his knuckles that caused blood to gush from the wound. Poe struggled to contain his pain as he looked down to see blood pooling down his arm.

The fresher door swung open since Finn had negotiated with Poe to never have the door locked for situations such as these. “Poe, what the hell,” questioned Finn when he saw the mirror and then the blood that was still flowing from Poe’s hand. The Resistance pilot showed no signs of wanting to try and stem the flow. 

Poe stood shaking in shock. “I-I-I-I—“

“Shit,” Finn huffed as he drew forward and immediately grabbed one of their towels. He tried to wrap it around Poe’s hand, but Poe drew back.

The pilot stood with his teeth almost bared like an animal and eyes blazing. “Don’t fucking touch me!”

Finn slightly lifted his hands in alarm. “Alright, alright. Let’s talk through this, alright? I won’t touch you, but you can’t stand like that with your hand gushing blood.” He glanced down to Poe’s shaking hand that was now pressed against his chest. “There’s still glass in your hand. That’s got to still hurt.”

“What does it fucking matter if it hurts,” spat Poe savagely. “I deserve it for putting Mhina in that situation. It’s not her fault I’m too weak to protect myself.”

Finn shook his head gravely. He needed to calm Poe down and also have him be comfortable enough for Finn to clean the wound and stop the bleeding. “You’re not weak. Not by any means. I shouldn’t have insinuated any of that. I just worry about you, Poe. This could’ve happened when you were alone or it could’ve escalated. Do you know what would’ve done to me if I would’ve lost you?”

Poe shook his head, a few tears dislodging and falling on the ground. “I don’t know,” he croaked.

“Exactly! I don’t know what I would do either. I’m not sure that if I could go on without you. You’re my best friend, my soulmate, my lover. I need you beside me.” Finn lifted a hand to rub subconsciously against the back of his neck. “What I mean is that I don’t want to see anything happen to you. That includes blood loss or infection. Will you please let me clean your wound?”

Poe looked down at his hand, which was pressed against his chest and had coated his chest hair in scarlet. He looked beyond sullen. “D-Don’t look,” he stuttered as he looked down to his scared body and blemished skin.

Despite Finn’s better judgement, he drew forward and pressed his forehead to Poe’s. Poe tensed, but didn’t pull away. “You look as handsome to me now as you ever did. I don’t care about those things. If you look at my body you will find marks too. You are handsome to me and will always be handsome. You never have to be ashamed in front of me.”

Poe glanced up fearfully. “You mean that?”

“Of course I do.” Finn slightly pulled away from Poe before using his hand to tip Poe’s face upward. “You will always be the sexy pilot that I fell in love with. No scars, nicks, or gashes will ever change that.”

A smile showed on Poe’s face, but it seemed to take a moment for it to actually sink in. “Okay.” He didn’t sound like he believed it, but that would be another battle that Finn would have to face for another time.

“Then I can clean you up now? Because just the look of your hand is making my hand hurt.” Poe looked slightly bewildered when he looked down at his hand. He gulped before nodding slowly. “Okay, come over here.” He led Poe through the small space and had him sit down on the closed toilet seat. “Let’s see what we have here.”

Finn pulled Poe’s hand from his chest and lifted it so that he could get a better look at it. He wasn’t the best when it came to blood and gaping wounds. He just hoped that he could handle it enough so that Poe didn’t see him sweat. That was something that the pilot certainly didn’t need.

Finn gingerly lifted Poe’s hand and saw the shards still lodged in his flesh. He set the towel on the ground as he grasped one of the shards in his knuckle. Poe winced in pain and Finn immediately released it. “Sorry. This is going to hurt, but I’m going to be as quick as I can.” He drew his fingers delicately over the largest shard and managed to pull it delicately from Poe’s knuckle and felt it tear at Poe’s flesh. 

“I know,” murmured Finn as he set the shard on the ground. He went for another piece that was quite a bit smaller. He could see Poe’s face twisting in pain and he knew that he couldn’t have Poe delving into one of his flashbacks. The best way to make sure that wouldn’t happen would be to distract him. “How about you tell me a story, huh? Something good.”

Poe gave him a questioning look. “A good story?”

“Yeah, a good story,” Finn continued as he pulled another piece from Poe’s hand. “About anything that you want. Just something good. Maybe about your group?”

Poe turned aside with his eyes squeezed shut. “I like having this one-on-one meetup thing that Dr. Firn suggested. I was so excited to get Mhina. She’s kind, and gentle, and very intelligent. She just doesn’t show it. I remember when Jub came in with these complex equations for his engineering project with new X-Wings. He hadn’t had time to drop them off at his room after work and he was frustrated that he couldn’t solve them. Mhina stepped in and solved them all like it was nothing. She may be in charge of archives, but she could do anything here if she wanted.”

Finn never tired of hearing about Mhina. Besides, while Poe had been speaking, Finn had removed the rest of the glass from Poe’s hand. He lifted a bottle of rubbing alcohol that they kept for wounds such as this. He unscrewed the top and frowned to Poe. “This is going to hurt. Just wanted to prepare you.”

Poe lifted his uninjured hand to his mouth and slightly gnawed on it. “Ready,” he rasped.

Finn poured the liquid over Poe’s hand, and even with Poe’s other hand in his mouth, he still let out an almost shrill cry in agony. Finn immediately set the bottle aside and wrapped the towel around his hand to stem the bleeding that was still gushing from his hand. Poe bit down so hard on his finger that Finn was surprised he didn’t break it. 

Finn held the towel hard against Poe’s hand. In fact, it was almost too tight for Poe’s liking, but Finn needed to stop the bleeding. He had already lost more blood than Finn would’ve liked. The last thing that he, or Poe, wanted was to have to go to the medbay. Finn only took him there if it was absolutely necessary.

Poe’s body began to finally relax and Finn took that as the pain was starting to ebb. “You alright? Is the pain ebbing a little?”

“A bit,” Poe croaked, still breathless. “It’s not too bad.”

“I know when you’re lying to me,” Finn joked as he lifted his face up to Poe’s. “But, you’re stronger than I ever could be. I would’ve been screaming if I had glass sticking out of my hand.”

Poe snorted in distain. “I’ve been through worse.” His tone was almost bitter with his gaze dark and shadowed. 

Finn hated when Poe spoke negatively about himself. There was time to chide him over it and time to reassure him. Now was one of the times of reassurance. “You know what, you have, and that proves how strong you are. My boyfriend is the strongest man in the galaxy.”

Even though Poe didn’t believe him, it did bring a smile to his face. “I don’t know about that.”

“I do. You’re strong and brave and just make me happy every moment I’m with you. Even through the hard times. I know it’s only going to strengthen the love that we have for each other,” Finn murmured as he smiled to Poe.

Poe leaned slightly down and the two shared a passionate kiss. Poe pulled off with a small hiss of pain as he winced. “You’re squeezing too hard.”

“Sorry,” Finn apologized as he opened the towel from Poe’s hand. The towel was saturated with blood, but at least it seemed that Poe’s hand was no longer bleeding. “We need to clean it and then wrap it. Would you want to shower first and then we can go from there?”

Poe blinked his eyes tiredly before nodding. He knew that Finn had things that he had to get done today and Poe had as well. Unfortunately, it seemed that neither one of them would be getting much done. Poe didn’t want to hold Finn back, but he didn’t trust himself to be alone, especially after proving that he couldn’t even be in the fresher without causing himself physical harm.

“Do you need help,” Finn asked as he set the towel in the trash. There was no way that the blood would ever come out of the white towel. Poe shook his head. “Alright, but the fresher door stays open. Deal?”

Poe couldn’t argue it. “Deal,” he responded.

Finn straightened as he patted Poe on the shoulder. “This is just another obstacle and we will make it through, I promise.”


	5. Cuddle and Comfort

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Poe feels guilty over his lack of intimacy with Finn. Luckily it’s Finn who shows Poe what he really wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This last chapter is a real fluffy one with Poe and Finn just being together. They talk through a few things and clear things up. I thought it was important to show that their relationship may have their hurdles, but they still care deeply for one another and will do anything for the other, which is what is important in any relationship.

Poe stepped out of the shower after he cleaned the blood off of his chest and hand. The coolness of the water had been refreshing. However, he didn’t enjoy looking or feeling the scars that littered his body. He kept his eyes either facing forward or closed tightly during the whole duration of the shower. Poe managed to clean himself up to the best of his ability as he placed on some boxers and a white t-shirt that Finn had brought in while Poe was in the shower.

The Resistance General headed out of the fresher to find Finn on their bed with the comforter and sheets overturned. He smiled when he saw Poe approach. Poe looked and saw that Finn had all of the medical supplies that they kept in their room spread out in front of him. “Feel better?”

“Much,” responded Poe as he crept over to Finn and sat on the bed beside him. “What’s all this? It looks like you’re going to preform a dissection or something.”

Finn chuckled as he shook his head stubbornly. “Definitely not. I just want to make sure those gashes don’t get infected. They’re pretty deep,” he commented as he motioned to what he had in front of him. “Trust me enough?”

“I trust you more than I trust myself,” replied Poe honestly as he stretched out his hand to Finn. It had stopped bleeding during the shower and he had done his best to wash off the dried blood. However, there was only so much he could do without looking at it.

Finn began to stretch out his hand and took Poe’s hand in his. He used some alcohol wipes to clean it once again with Poe shifting uncomfortably in his seat. His jaw was set and his eyes reflected pain as Finn tried to be as thorough as possible. “The hard part is done,” murmured Finn as he started to wrap some gauze around the wound and then some cloth as a bandage. “You know, the last time I patched a wound with this type of bandage it a blaster wound.”

Poe nodded slowly. “That was when I was shot, right?” Sometimes events became jumbled thanks to his now heightened awareness. Dr. Firn had told him that it wasn’t uncommon for someone like Poe to have hyper vigilance and that could make events that he experienced feel like they were happening all over again. Add that with a dose of dissociation and it could be a dangerous combination. 

Finn nodded in agreement as he tucked the bandage against Poe’s arm so that it would stay. “Yep, that’s right. You fought in that battle with an injured arm and still was the best pilot there, in my opinion.” Finn lifted Poe’s bandaged hand to his mouth as he peppered it with gentle kisses. “My strong boyfriend.”

Poe managed a tiny smile. “You really think so?”

“I know so.” Finn released Poe’s hand as he tried to clean up the supplies to the best of his ability. He then looked at the time. “You know I should probably get ready for those meetings that I have.”

Poe looked down in as much of a pout as he could muster. “Do you have to?”

Finn sighed as he tipped his head to and fro. “Hmmm, I suppose that I could maybe be persuaded to stay. You know, for a price,” he started with a glimmer of mischief lighting in his gaze.

Poe knew that they hadn’t been as intimate as either one of them would have liked. It was just too much for Poe right now. The feel of Finn against him—the sounds, the movements—all usually triggered painful and overwhelming memories. Poe felt bad that every time they tried, he failed at it. Finn had always been patient with him, but Poe was waiting for the day when Finn couldn’t wait and would have to find compatibility elsewhere. 

However, before Poe could think about coming up with an excuse, Finn sweetly nuzzled Poe’s neck as he gingerly began lowering both of them down onto the bed. He pulled up the covers over both of them before pulling Poe close so that he could bury his head into the back of Poe’s neck. He had one arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close while the other lifted to almost run this thumb gingerly against Poe’s cheek.

“You just want to cuddle,” Poe asked as he felt a weight seem to lift from his shoulders.

Finn nodded as he murmured against Poe. “There’s nothing better than cuddling with you. Until you’re comfortable with more, this is perfect for me.”

Poe felt himself relax against Finn as his gentle breath and soft caressing helped him relax into a deep slumber.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys liked the ending and I promise that the next installment in this series will be up soon. I can’t stay away from them for too long even if I wanted to. Thanks to everyone who had read and enjoyed this story/series. It means the world to me. I hope you guys enjoy and are staying safe and healthy!

**Author's Note:**

> This is shorter than I wanted, but this will be a multi chapter story. Be looking for the next update. I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!


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